'Back to School'

You're probably feeling excited and maybe a little sad that summer is over.

Some kids feel nervous or a little scared on their first day of school because of all the new things: new teachers, new friends, and maybe even a new school. Luckily, these "new" worries only stick around for a little while.

Back-to-school struggles still surprise many parents. After all, kids go back to school every year - why don't they know what to expect?

Well, consider this:

• The growth rate of kids is so fast that going back to the previous year's routine can seem pretty stale.
• Kids either dread or look forward to a new school year depending on what they remember from last year. Expectations are nearly everything.
• What's it like to go back to school? Imagine a job change for you. Your kids also may be in a new building this year, which makes it even harder to feel comfortable

Suggestions for smoothing your child’s path to a new academic year.

Listen to your Child carefully, Reflect how your child feels back to the child in clear words. When fears start to arise, make eye contact, showing that you really care It is amazing how just acknowledging the fear helps it to dissipate.

Communicate with your child, Your relationship with your children has a great effect on them. So it's important not to act too crazed about the return to school. Build in extra time, put irrelevant projects on hold, stay rested, and try to stick closer to your kids. Dads need to listen up, too. Many jobs seem to pick up at this time of year, and it's easy to get sucked down by the undertow.

Encourage your child to think of solutions, If your child has repeated a fear to you several times in the past week, resist the temptation to reassure him with “truths” such as:

• “The teacher will like you. Don’t worry about that”
• “You will know how to find your bus. The monitor will help you.”
• “Of course you are smart enough to go to fourth grade!"

Often the child gets little real comfort from this type of statement. If he has a substantial amount of fear, his mind will go immediately to an argument for almost anything you say. Instead, ask “How?”

• “How do you think the teacher will get to know you?”
• “How do you think kids find their buses on the first day?”
• “How do you think the work in fourth grade compares to the work in third grade? Do you think there will be any review from last year?”

This way the child learns to think, rather than just get enveloped in fear. And when he comes up with his own thoughts about the fearful situation, he can accept them better…no need to argue!

Place trust in your child. When driving in the car or at bedtime, say, “I was just thinking of all the ways I trust you. You are so good with your little sister, and I am so proud of that. You play with the dog so nicely, and you are such a good master to her. I can trust you to respond when I call you in from outside. You are a trustworthy person!” This plants the seed for self-trust in your child, which is vital to adjusting to the new school year. No need to talk directly about school. Planting the message of trustworthiness is enough, and it prevents resistance.

Αs adults we often forget to share our childhood tales with our own kids. They think we can’t understand them, because we are big and they are little. It’s so helpful to remind our children that we were kids once, too. It increases our credibility to show them that we have experience, and that we have overcome obstacles. So share the stories of your success with challenging situations, so kids realize they are not the only ones who face these things. 

Ι wish you all a good academic year!!!